


My World Crumbles When You Are Not Here

by 4thofFive



Series: Life with Isabel [6]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M, My O/C Isabel Williams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:48:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1748438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4thofFive/pseuds/4thofFive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny, Grace and Isabel are left reeling when Steve suddenly disappears leaving only a note.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My World Crumbles When You Are Not Here

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 2x22
> 
> Title from the song "I Try" by Macy Gray

Danny found the letter on Monday morning. He was surprised to see Steve’s handwriting on the envelope especially since he’d taken his fiancé to the airport on Friday ostensibly for a quick weekend trip to LA to visit his sister.

Danny sank down bonelessly in the chair when he read the letter. Steve wasn’t in LA – or at least he wasn’t now – he was off in god knows what part of the world searching for Shelbourne and that bastard Joe White. Danny should have known something was up when he got one text from Steve on Saturday morning and then nothing more for the rest of the weekend.

The detective dropped the letter on the desk and buried his face in his hands. How could Steve do this to him? Just up and leave without telling him where he was going and actually lying about his plans? How the fuck was Danny going to explain this to Grace and to Isabel, both of whom adored Steve?

Danny dropped his head back against the headrest of his chair and let his hands fall limply to his lap. He and Steve were in the middle of planning their commitment ceremony which was scheduled to take place in six weeks. Would the SEAL be back in time? Did he even want to get married? 

Danny picked up the letter and balled it up in his fist. Maybe Steve’s mystery trip was just an excuse. Maybe the Commander had decided he didn’t want to marry Danny and become a step-father to a 10-year-old girl or the brother-in-law to a mentally challenged woman. Maybe it was all too much for him.

The blond man fought back tears as he threw the letter across the room. 

“God damn him!” he hissed in the empty room. “That son of a bitch!”

**********

“I don’t know what to tell Grace and Izzy,” Danny said as he, Kono and Chin gathered around the tech table hours later. “How do I explain that their beloved Steve lied to us about where he was going and now he might be off getting killed somewhere?”

Chin glanced at Kono before looking back at Danny sympathetically.

“Look brah, I’m not defending the way Steve went about this but he obviously was worried that if you knew you’d either try to talk him out of it or you’d insist on going with him.”

“Of course I would!” shouted Danny flinging his arms in the air with disgust. “I’m his partner for Christ’s sake. I’m supposed to be his back up.”

“Danny,” Kono interjected calmly, “you know Steve would do anything he could to protect you. There was no way he was going to take you along on this…mission or whatever it is. It’s obviously something he felt he had to do on his own.”

“Well that’s all very sweet Kono but it still doesn’t answer my question about how the fuck I’m supposed to explain this mess to Izzy and Grace!” Danny snapped as he began to pace angrily around the room.

Kono turned to rest one hip on the edge of the table.

“I guess you’re going to have to tell them some sanitized version of the truth.”

Danny stopped his pacing and rubbed his hands roughly over his face before dropping them back to his sides.

“I think I can make Grace understand – I never could lie to her anyway and I don’t want to start – but I’m not sure about Izzy. Our parents died not six months ago and now I have to tell her that her beloved Steve is gone, I don’t know where his is, I don’t know when he’ll come back or even if he…” Danny’s voice broke and he turned away from his friends taking shaky deep breaths to calm himself.

Chin walked over to his 2nd boss and slung an arm around the smaller man’s shoulders.

“He’ll be back, Danny,” the Hawaiian detective said softly. “He loves you and he loves his family. Nothing is going to keep him from coming back to you.”

Danny looked up at the older detective with wet eyes.

“I hope so Chin,” he whispered brokenly, “because if I lose him I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Chin shook his head rapidly as he pulled the blond detective into a tight hug. 

“You’re not going to lose him Danny. We’re not going to lose him.”

**********

Isabel came running out of Kamekona’s shrimp shack and all but slammed into Danny in her excitement to see her brother.

“Hi Sweetie!” Danny greeted her with a hug he desperately needed after a long day of worrying about Steve. “How was your day?”

The petite blond woman looked up at her brother with a grin.

“It was fun. I cooked some of the shrimp and put the sauce on it!”

“Great job!” enthused Danny, trying to be excited for his sister. “Kono, Chin and I will have to come for lunch soon and let you cook for us.”

“And Steve too,” responded Izzy taking Danny’s hand as they walked down the beach towards his car.

Danny swallowed heavily and looked away.

“Right, Steve too.”

**********

Before he’d picked up Isabel, Danny had called Rachel to see if it was alright to get Grace after school and take both young women out for ice cream. He wanted them together when he told them about Steve.

Grace and her aunt chattered happily as they found a bench to sit on to enjoy their ice cream. Isabel had always liked plain vanilla but Grace loved the bubblegum flavour. Danny usually had chocolate but today he hadn’t bothered because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep it down.

After sitting silently and letting the two young women talk for a while, Danny finally sat up straight and turned on the bench to meet the eyes of his sister and daughter.

“Girls…look…I have something to tell you.”

Always sensitive to her father’s moods, Grace knew something was up right away but Isabel looked at him without concern.

“What’s wrong Danno?” Grace asked nervously.

The detective forced a smile to his face.

“It’s nothing serious baby. It’s just that…well Steve contacted me today and he won’t be coming back from LA tomorrow as we’d hoped.”

“How come?” Isabel inquired taking another lick from her ice cream cone.

“He’s umm…do you remember Steve telling you about the bad man that hurt his family?”

Both girls nodded.

“Well…Steve thinks he knows where the bad guy is and he’s gone off to try to arrest him.”

“Where did he go?” asked Grace, her eyes wide with fear and her ice cream cone forgotten and dripping on the ground around her.

Danny licked his lips nervously.

“I’m not exactly sure but somewhere far away I think.”

“But you’re not with him,” argued Grace, a frown now marring her pretty features. “You’re his partner. He’s not supposed to do anything dangerous without you.”

Danny nodded and chewed his bottom lip briefly.

“Yeah…I know Monkey but I think Steve thought it would be better if I stayed here to look after the two of you and run 5-0.”

“When will Steve be back?” asked Isabel softly, her voice quivering slightly as her niece’s worried reaction started to make her frightened.

Danny reached over and took his sister’s hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. 

“I’m sure he’ll be home soon sweetie. Maybe…I don’t know…a couple of weeks? Maybe less.”

Isabel’s bottom lip began wobbling and she dropped her hand so that her scoop of ice cream tumbled out of the cone and splattered on the sidewalk in front of her.

“But that’s not fair Danny!” she whined, her eyes filled with tears. “He’s supposed to help me with my swimming for the lympics.”

Danny slid closer to his sister and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Steve had been training his sister for the Special Olympics and the event was just two months away.

“I know honey. Steve won’t miss that, I’m sure he won’t. In the meantime I’ll train with you. I’m not as good a swimmer as Steve is but I can help.”

“No!” Izzy shouted before she burst into tears dropping the now empty cone onto the sidewalk next to the rapidly melting blob of ice cream and burying her face in her hands.

Danny sighed helplessly then looked over at Grace whose eyes were also brimming with tears. This was not going as well as Danny had hoped.

“Look you guys,” Danny forced his voice to be strong and no-nonsense. “There’s no reason to be upset ok? I know we all miss Steve and we’ll worry about him but he’s Super SEAL. He’s going to find the bad guy and bring him back here and put him in jail and then we’ll all be together again alright?”

Danny looked over at Grace who nodded forcing a pained smile to her face as she tried to be brave for her father. He switched his attention to his sister and put a finger under her chin and tipped her tear-stained face up to look at him.

“OK? We’re going to be just fine and Steve will be home soon,” Danny repeated.

Izzy sniffed loudly then nodded her head before wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“OK Danny.”

**********

Nine days! Nine days Steve had been gone and nothing. No word. No text. No phone call. Danny’s mood varied wildly between enraged and terrified and it was becoming harder and harder to convince Grace and Isabel that everything was alright and Steve would be home soon. Every night Izzy asked Danny why Steve hadn’t called and every night Danny had to repeat the same load of crap: Steve was busy. Steve couldn’t use the phone because had to stay quiet so that he could sneak up on the bad guy. Steve loved them all very much.

After a week, Grace stopped asking about Steve all together and during her times spent with Danny and Izzy she was unusually quiet and withdrawn.

Danny sat on the couch watching TV without actually understanding what was happening on the screen. He hated these times when he was home and Izzy was in bed and he had nothing to occupy his terrified thoughts. He couldn’t concentrate on a book or on the TV and half the time he caught himself staring at walls or out into the inky black night.

Danny heard a shuffling sound and turned his head to see his sister emerge from the short hallway that led to her own little apartment in his and Steve’s house. She was dressed in her pajamas and slippers and clutching the stuffed seal that Steve had given her for her birthday two months ago.

Danny plastered a smile on his face.

“Hey sweetie, I thought you’d gone to bed.”

Izzy pulled her lips in between her teeth and stared at her brother with brimming eyes.

“Steve’s dead isn’t he?”

Danny gasped and climbed up off the couch hurrying over to his sister and gripping her shoulders with his hands.

“What? Why would you ask something like that? Steve’s not dead. I explained it all to you.”

Several fat tears rolled down his little sister’s cheek and she looked up at him sniffling, her breath coming in gasps.

“Mommy and Daddy went away for a trip into New York and they never came back! Now Steve’s not going to come back!”

Izzy dropped her head and began sobbing helplessly. Danny pulled her into his arms resting her head against his chest.

“Sweetie no! Steve is not dead ok? He’s not. Mom and Dad were killed by a drunk driver. That’s not going to happen to Steve.”

“Then why hasn’t he written to us or called us?” sobbed Izzy as she pushed her face against her brother’s chest.

“I just…I already told you…” Danny felt his throat close up as he struggled to contain the emotion boiling up in him. He was going to fucking kill Steve for doing this to Izzy – to all of them. He cleared his throat and tried again. “He’s…very busy sweetheart but I’m sure he’ll call when he can.”

“He doesn’t love us anymore,” Izzy wailed as she pulled angrily away from her brother then turned and fled back to her room slamming her door behind her.

That was it for Danny. That was all he could take. The blond man dropped to his knees where he was standing and allowed the tears he’d been holding back so long pour down his face. What if Izzy was right? What if Steve died? Or what if he didn’t love them anymore? How would Danny survive? How would their little family survive?

**********

“Come on Iz you can do better than that,” Danny called with forced enthusiasm as his sister did a very desultory front crawl in the ocean in front of their home. “I’ve seen you go much faster.”

The small woman stood up in the water and shrugged her shoulders.

“Who cares? It doesn’t matter.” 

Isabel began walking out of the surf towards the towel she’d left on the sand but her brother intercepted her before she could leave the water.

“What do you mean who cares?” he demanded, shaking her shoulders gently. “I care. And Grace and Rachel care. And Steve cares.”

“If Steve cared he’d be here,” the young woman replied looking up at him angrily. “He’s the one that wanted me to be in the lympics. He’s the one who said I could win a medal with my swimming. Now he’s gone and I don’t want to do it anymore.”

Danny tipped his head to look down into his sister’s face.

“Sweetie you can’t just give up because you’re angry at Steve. I know you’re disappointed he’s not here but people are counting on you. The whole family is coming to your competition and they want to see you swim. You don’t want to let them down do you?”

Izzy chewed on the side of her lip and stared moodily at the water.

“But Steve was teaching me swimming stuff he learned as a SEAL. You can’t teach me that stuff.”

Danny huffed out a laugh.

“Sweetie, it’s very cool that Steve is teaching you that stuff but I don’t think you’re going to need it in this competition. What you do need is to practice and be the very best you can be and I’ll help you with that ok?”

The young woman looked up at her brother doubtfully.

“But what if Steve’s not here when I’m in the race? I don’t think I can swim right if Steve’s not here.”

Danny smoothed the wet hair off his sister’s forehead.

“Let’s not worry about that right now ok? Let’s just do our best and practice as much as we can so that when Steve comes back, he’ll be so proud of you.”

**********

Danny walked into the 5-0 staff room on a Wednesday morning two weeks after Steve left to find Chin and Kono sitting at the table enjoying their first coffee.

“I’ve cancelled the wedding plans,” Danny announced flatly, his eyes fixed on the floor and his voice devoid of emotion.

“What!” Kono cried, looking up at her boss in horror. “Why would you do that?”

Danny shrugged.

“It was supposed to happen the weekend after next Kono. God knows if Steve will be back in time or if…maybe he’s never coming back. I might as well try to salvage some of the money we put up.”

Kono climbed to her feet and jammed her fists angrily on her hips glaring at the blond detective.

“You can’t honestly believe he’s not coming back?” the young officer growled in annoyance. “You know damned well he’s coming back.”

“Do I?” replied Danny softly. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard a word. How can I know he’s coming back, how can I even know if he’s still alive?”

“Danny…” Chin began but the blond detective put up one hand to quench the Hawaiian man’s words.

“Don’t bother Chin; don’t bother to defend him and don’t bother trying to make me feel better.” Danny wrapped his arms tightly around his torso. His voice was weak when he spoke again. “It doesn’t matter now anyway. I don’t know if I even want to marry him if he’s just going to up and disappear on his family like this. If I can’t trust him then I can’t marry him. It’s as simple as that.”

The smaller man turned abruptly and walked out of the staff room with a horrified Chin and Kono watching his retreating back.

**********

“Danno aren’t you going to barbeque the chicken tonight?” Grace called from the lanai when she noticed the barbeque had not been prepared.

The detective sighed in frustration as he grabbed a pepper and began chopping it. He’d had a long day at work, including a chewing out from the Governor, and he really didn’t feel like justifying his cooking choices to a 10-year-old.

“No Monkey, I’m just going to bake it ok? We’ll have some veggies and rice with it. It’ll be good.”

The young girl walked into the kitchen still damp from playing in the ocean.

“But it tastes better barbequed!” she whined moodily.

Danny pressed his lips together in annoyance and took several deep breaths.

“ Maybe, but I don’t feel like heating up the barbeque tonight ok?” Danny replied with exaggerated patience as he continued cutting the vegetables.

Grace angrily crossed her arms on her chest and all but stamped one foot on the tile floor of the kitchen.

“But Steve always barbeques on Friday night! It’s tradition and I look forward to it every week!”

“Grace,” Danny’s voice was low in warning as he put down the knife and rested on his clenched fists on the countertop, still turned away from his daughter. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed but I’m not barbequing tonight ok? Now please get washed up and set the table.”

“I don’t want to eat then,” the young girl grumbled, sticking her bottom lip out in a pout. “If Steve was here…”

Danny whirled around to loom over his daughter, his rage suddenly boiling over.

“Well Steve is not here ok!” he yelled, “He’s off somewhere half way around the fucking world for all I know. He’s not here and I’m trying to run 5-0 and run this house without him and look after you and Izzy and I can’t…”

Danny stopped abruptly and let his mouth drop open in horror at the look of shock on his daughter’s suddenly pale face. He had never in her life spoken to her like that and it made him sick to think he’d lost control in front of her even for a moment.

“Oh god, Grace, baby I’m so sorry,” Danny began, his voice quivering as he moved towards his child, hands outstretched,

Grace took several steps to back away from him, a look of fear in her eyes that he never expected to see directed at him. The blond man turned away and sagged against the kitchen counter top.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered brokenly, tears coursing down his face.

Danny felt small arms wrap around his waist and looked down to see his daughter’s tear streaked face looking up at him worriedly. The detective bent down and picked up his baby girl holding her tightly against his chest as he struggled to compose himself. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around this neck.

“It’s ok Danno,” Grace whispered brokenly, her face buried in his neck. “I’m sorry I got mad at you and made you upset.”

The blond man shook his head rapidly.

“It’s not you, baby. I’m worried about Steve and mad that he hasn’t called and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

Grace straightened up in his arms so that she could look into her father’s face. She used both hands to wipe the tears from his cheeks before looking seriously into his eyes.

“Steve will be home soon Danno. I know he will. He loves us.”

Danny gave his brave daughter a watery smile and nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right baby. Steve will be home soon.”

**********

Danny hugged Steve after the standoff with the Yakuza at the airport. He was so grateful to see his partner home and alive and reasonably unharmed that he couldn’t help but sink into Steve’s embrace when his fiancé…boyfriend…partner (whatever the hell he was now) wrapped his long arms around him.

But as he stood watching Steve laugh with Kono and Chin and pretend everything was right with the world he couldn’t help but feel rage climbing his throat again threatening to choke him. Danny had to struggle with himself not to punch Steve on his already bruised face.

“Ready to go home, Danny?” Steve asked, grinning happily down at his boyfriend.

“I think you’re the one who needs to answer that question,” Danny snapped as he turned and walked back to the car the CIA agent had left for him.

“Are you ok babe?” Steve inquired, picking up his stride to catch up to Danny who had all but run towards the vehicle.

Danny stopped abruptly and swiveled to glare at his boyfriend.

“What the fuck do you care?” the blond man growled menacingly. “You didn’t care when you fucked off 16 days ago and I doubt you truly care now.”

“Danny…” Steve began, reaching out towards the smaller man.

The detective wrenched his arm away from Steve.

“Don’t Steven. Not now. You look exhausted and beat to shit. I’m taking you home so you can shower and sleep then tomorrow we’re going to talk. Tomorrow we’re going to figure out where the hell we go from here.”

Danny climbed into the nondescript government sedan and Steve hurried to climb into the passenger seat beside him. The detective drove off the airstrip with a squeal of tires before Steve barely had a chance to close his door.

“What do you mean ‘where we go from here?’” asked Steve worriedly shifting in his seat to see the hard line of his boyfriend’s face.

Danny pursed his lips together and shook his head. He wasn’t going to do this tonight. Steve was home and alive. Everything else would wait until morning.

**********

Steve stood on the lanai early the next morning staring out to the ocean in front of his home. He was planning a long swim later but had a feeling that if he left the house any time soon he’d find the doors locked when he returned. 

Danny had slept in the guest room the previous night. The SEAL had tried to convince his fiancé to sleep in their bed with him but the blond man shook his head as he grabbed his sleepwear from the closet.

“I can’t Steve,” Danny murmured softly, his face hard with unspoken anger. “I can’t get in bed with you and pretend everything is alright.”

The Commander sighed with frustration and fear. He knew Danny was going to be angry with him when he got home. He knew his lover would be hurt that Steve had gone off on his own with only a hastily written letter letting him know what he had planned. For more than two weeks Steve had prepared himself for the Danno rant to end all rants but instead he’d been faced with silence – a silence that frightened him more than facing down a helicopter full of Yakuza soldiers.

Steve heard a sharp intake of breath from behind him. He turned to the lanai doors and saw Izzy standing there in her pajamas, her hair a rat’s nest and her eyes wide with disbelief.

“Steve?” she whispered, standing as if she were rooted to the spot. “Steve?”

A happy grin spread over Steve’s face and he spread his arms wide for his sister-in-law.

“Iz! God I missed you so much. Come here sweetie.”

With a strangled cry, Izzy pushed her fist to her mouth and turned abruptly fleeing back into the house screaming Danny’s name.

“Izzy!” Steve yelled at her retreating form then ran after her.

Steve took the stairs two at a time and came upon Isabel standing in the hall wrapped in Danny’s arms sobbing into his shirt front as her brother soothed her quietly.

“It’s Steve sweetie,” Danny said gently. “It’s just Steve. He got home last night. It was too late to wake you.”

Izzy snuffled into her brother’s tee shirt and slowly turned her head to look at Steve.

“Are you really home?” she whispered brokenly.

Steve gave her a tremulous smile, a lump forming in his throat. He put his arms out for her again.

“Yes honey, I’m really home and I missed you so much. Can’t I have a hug?”

Izzy looked up nervously at Danny who smiled brightly and nodded in encouragement. Finally the young woman pulled away from her brother and hurried into Steve’s arms. Steve bent down low enough to embrace her then picked her up off the floor and hugged her tightly as her feet dangled over the hardwood.

“Steve. I’m so glad you’re home,” Isabel sobbed into his shoulder. “We missed you so much and I thought you were dead.”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut and had to swallow convulsively several times before he could trust himself to speak.

“I’m sorry sweetie. I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry I had to leave. I missed you too.”

The SEAL opened his brimming eyes and looked over at Danny who stood several feet away watching them, quiet tears running down his cheeks.

**********

“Steve!” Grace shrieked as she ran through the door to the lanai and out onto the beach where Steve was climbing out of the water several hours later.

Steve grinned widely and braced himself to be slammed into by a 70 pound tornado but Grace stopped abruptly several feet away from him.

“Steve?” she whispered as she eyed the cuts and bruises all over his body. “Are you ok?”

The Commander smiled gently and nodded.

“Yeah baby I’m fine, especially now that I’m home and you’re here.”

Without warning Grace burst into tears and ran into the arms of the man she loved second best in the world. Steve pulled her up off her feet and twirled her around before clutching her tightly to himself and burying his face in her hair. The tears he’d been just barely able to control when he greeted Isabel spilled down his cheeks as he held his baby girl in his arms.

 

**********

Steve had Danny and the two young women sit on the couch while he moved the recliner to face them. He felt a bit like a condemned man facing a firing squad but he knew that if there was any hope of salvaging this situation and getting his family back, he had to face their questions and their anger.

He looked intently at each of his family members for a moment before nodding.

“OK, I want to say first that I’m sorry for what I’ve put you all through all this time. I know I was wrong to leave without telling you what I was doing but I honestly thought it was the right thing to do. I knew if I told Danno what I had planned that he’d try to talk me out of it or he’d want to come with me and I couldn’t take the chance of him getting hurt. That’s why I did what I did.”

Steve paused and looked at each person again. Danny kept his eyes firmly planted on the floor while both Isabel and Grace looked up at Steve intently.

“But you’re not supposed to do dangerous things without Daddy,” Grace pointed out seriously. “He’s your partner and you’re supposed to work together.”

Steve nodded his head regretfully.

“You’re right baby and I hated going without Danno, but I couldn’t take the chance that he could get hurt or…taken away from you and Aunt Izzy. One of us needed to stay behind and look after you and look after 5-0.”

“Did we do something bad Steve?” Izzy asked shyly, “Is that why you left?”

Steve leaned forward on the chair and clasped his hands tightly on his lap.

“No sweetie, no. You didn’t do anything wrong – none of you. I left because I had the chance to catch the man who hurt my parents. I couldn’t let him get away but I didn’t want to leave you and I didn’t want to make you worry. You have to believe that. I love you all.”

“Did you miss us?” Grace asked quietly, her voice almost a whisper.

Steve bit his bottom lip and nodded vigorously.

“So much. I missed you all so much,” the SEAL replied, his voice rough.

“Then how come you didn’t call or write to us?”

Steve swallowed hard and ran a hand over his face before replying.

“I know this is going to sound silly but I couldn’t. I was afraid.”

That admission had Danny look up at his boyfriend sharply, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I was afraid that if I called I wouldn’t be able to finish the search for the bad guy,” Steve continued gently. “I thought if I heard your voice or Izzy’s or Danno’s that I would be so homesick that I wouldn’t be able to stay away anymore and then the bad guy would get away.”

Steve stood up from the chair and walked over to the couch and knelt down in front of Izzy and Grace, taking one of their hands in each of his.

“The man that I captured and brought back to jail killed my parents. I couldn’t let him get away. I had to capture him – even if it meant worrying all of you. I don’t expect either of you to understand but I feel like if I hadn’t done this, if I hadn’t captured him, I would never be able to be truly happy in life knowing my parents’ murderer was walking free.”

Both girls stared at Steve quietly for a long moment before Grace glanced worriedly at her father, then back at Steve.

“Are you and Daddy still going to get married?” she asked softly.

Steve grinned happily at the little girl.

“Of course we are baby.”

His smile faded as he looked over at Danny who had turned his face away again.

**********

Steve stood in the doorway of the guest room clutching a piece of paper and looking at Danny in shock.

“I can’t believe you did this, Danny!” 

The blond man looked up from where he was sitting on the bed removing his socks as he prepared to get undressed for the night.

“You can’t believe I did what?”

“You cancelled our wedding,” Steve replied, his voice tight with anger as he waved the cancellation notice he’d printed from the computer. “You didn’t even discuss it with me you just went ahead and cancelled it.”

Danny gave Steve a cold, considering look. When he spoke again his voice was cold and flat.

“You weren’t here to discuss the subject with me and I had no idea when, or even if, you would be coming back.”

Steve slammed the flat of his hand on the door frame, his growing frustration with Danny’s cold anger starting to take its toll.

“What the hell do you mean ‘if I was coming back’? Of course I was coming back. Where did you get the idea that I wouldn’t?”

Danny shrugged and stood up and walked to the corner of the room to pull his sleep pants out of the dresser.

“I didn’t know for sure. What was I supposed to think Steven? You lied to me about where you were going and how long you would be gone. As far as I knew maybe you had decided that having a ready-made family was too much for you and you’d left forever.”

Steve shook his head slowly, disappointed with Danny’s words.

“You don’t think very highly of me do you Danny? I thought you knew how much I loved you and Grace and Isabel but obviously not. If you think I would be that much of a jerk and just leave you without an explanation…” Steve’s voice dropped away as he realized that’s exactly what he did.

Danny gave him a mirthless smile and Steve cleared his throat and shifted from one foot to the other.

“You know what I mean. I told you what I was doing in my letter. Maybe I wasn’t completely honest and above board about where I was going but I would never just walk out on you and our family without a word or a backward glance. I thought you knew that about me.”

Danny’s lips tightened into a hard line and he looked at Steve with moist eyes, hands clutching the soft material of his sleep pants.

“When Rachel and I were still married she started going on all these weekend and overnight business trips. They all sounded very legit and, since our marriage was rocky, I tried to be a good husband and arrange my work as much as possible to stay home with Grace. It was only after Rachel left me that I found out those business trips were actually her spending weekends with Stanley in various New York hotels.”

Steve seemed to deflate at that and the anger drained out of him as he looked at his boyfriend sympathetically.

“I’m sorry Danny. I can understand how that would make you suspicious but I’m not Rachel. I wouldn’t do that to you. I love you.”

Danny walked back over to the bed and sat back down on it heavily. He released a shaky sigh.

“She loved me at one time too,” replied Danny so quietly Steve wasn’t sure he heard correctly. The blond man looked up at his partner sadly.

“I know you love me Steve and deep down inside I knew you weren’t leaving me but I couldn’t stop those feelings from coming to the surface. What you pulled – leaving in secret like that – that is the old Steve, the guy who was so closed off and secretive; the guy who didn’t trust anyone. That made me feel alone and afraid. Like I’d lost you somehow and I didn’t know how to get you back. Add to that the terror that you’d die on your mission and that I’d have to face the rest of my life without you…” Danny swallowed hard and dropped his chin to his chest.

Steve walked into the guest room and knelt down in front of his boyfriend putting his hands lightly on the other man’s knees.

“Danny, babe, I am so sorry for what I did. I should have talked to you. I should have told you what I had in mind. I should have trusted that you wouldn’t try to stop me or talk me out of it. I know how much I hurt you and I understand how much I dumped on you by just leaving like that. But I really did believe I was doing the right thing and I also believed I’d be back in a few days. I had no idea I’d be gone as long as I was.”

Danny nodded but kept his head down.

Steve reached out and gently grasped Danny’s biceps. 

“You need to understand that whatever was happening with me in Japan, I would never have missed our wedding. Even if it meant I had to give up Wo Fat, I would never have missed our wedding.”

The blond detective looked up at his lover intently.

“And I would never have asked you to give up Wo Fat. I would have changed the wedding date if you’d just talked to me.”

Steve swallowed and nodded, dropping his eyes in shame.

“I know. I know you would have.” The SEAL licked his lips and sighed in frustration.

“Babe I don’t know what I can do or say to make this up to you, to fix this and get back to our lives.” He looked up at his love with pleading eyes. “But that’s what I want Danny – for us to get back to our lives; to have my family back.”

Danny felt his eyes fill with tears as he pulled Steve’s hands from his biceps and held them on his lap instead.

“You sure you want to be here? Are you sure you want this? I won’t ask you to stay if this isn’t what you want, if you have any doubts.”

Steve leaned forward so that his forehead was touching Danny’s. He gently pulled one hand away from Danny’s grasp and cupped it around the back of his boyfriend’s neck.

“I never wanted anything more and I haven’t changed my mind. I promise babe. I want this. I want us.”

**********

“Come on Izzy pull!” Steve yelled as his sister-in-law stroked cleanly through the water of the pool leaving the other competitors behind by a length.

“Come on honey!” the SEAL yelled again as he leapt to his feet in the bleachers. “You can do it Izzy! Swim!”

Danny rolled his eyes at his maniac husband. He genuinely believed that Steve was more excited about this event than Izzy was. He couldn’t blame him really. Ever since the SEAL got back from Japan – including on their wedding day a couple of weeks ago – he’d been working with Izzy helping her practice for the Special Olympics.

Danny was proud of the way Steve had cheered loudly for all of the competitors in each of the events they’d watched throughout the day. But now that Izzy was swimming, Steve was focused on only one person.

The detective, with Grace, Kono and Chin beside him also leapt to his feet as Izzy neared the end of the pool on her last lap.

“Come on Izzy!” Danny screamed excitedly with Grace and the others screaming and whistling beside them. “Come on!”

The crowd let out a roar as Izzy put on a last burst of speed and touched the side of the pool, easily clinching first place. Danny’s eyes watered as his baby sister stuck her arm up out of the water in a joy-filled victory salute then waved happily at Steve and the rest of her family. 

Danny sputtered indignantly when Steve whooped with joy then wrapped his arms around his husband and lifted him off his feet giving Danny a resounding kiss in front of everyone. The detective slapped at his husband’s shoulder in mock outrage but couldn’t keep a grin from his face.

“That’s my sister!” Steve announced proudly to everyone within ear shot as he put Danny back on the ground. “She swims just like a McGarrett!”

Danny rolled his eyes again before winking at Grace and the others.

“Yeah babe that’s right. She's your sister.”

 

The end.


End file.
